Losing Yourself To Find Yourself

By Nancy Nguyen

My life started to change in 2003. I went home, shut the door and fell asleep after returning from my ex-boyfriend’s house. I cried all night and it’s no wonder I woke up the next morning with swollen, red eyes.
“You are nothing. You meant nothing to me.” Those were the last words I heard from my ex-boyfriend when I caught him cheating on me at his apartment.  I kept on hearing his voice in my head over and over again as I stood there in front of my mirror looking at my reflection wondering, “what do I do now?”
One of my former friends called and suggested we go out to take my mind off things.  I thought that she would be the one who understood what I was going through because she had been in the same situation with her ex-boyfriend. I was sadly mistaken.
Before we went out she asked me if I wanted to stop by her house to get her mom’s girdle. I was so hurt by her comments that I just responded, “I am tired, so I am going to go back inside and go to bed.”  
The next morning I got up, went straight to my computer and typed up a contract to myself to lose weight while promising to make my lifestyle a healthier and happier one.  
I realized that I had to not only change the physical aspect of my life, but that I had to change myself from within as well.
I went into my pantry and refrigerator and threw away all my food. I went to the grocery store and bought chicken breast, tuna, whole wheat products, fruits, vegetables and cases of water.
My diet consisted of a daily intake of 1,200 calories.  I went from eating all-white carbohydrates to eating wheat carbohydrates.  For example, I switched from white bread to sugar-free wheat bread and also eliminated soda completely.  
In addition to eating healthier, I started working out at the gym. I worked out seven days a week for two hours a day. I was so committed to changing myself completely that I only missed going to the gym when it was closed.
I also surrounded myself with family and friends who appreciate me for who I am.  I was able to talk about my weight loss progress and share the meals I was eating with them.  
Within a week, I started seeing the results. The first week I lost two pounds.  Over the course of four years, I lost 98 pounds and went from a size 16 to a size 2 in women’s clothing.
Now, I am able to eat some of the things I used to eat like pizza, fried chicken and cheeseburgers, but I do not eat them everyday.  When I do eat foods like that, I eat them in small portions.
The reactions I received from people were wonderful and made me want to work harder to reach my goal.   My self-esteem changed with the knowledge that I was able to accomplish a goal.
People have often asked me how I lost the weight. I just tell them that you have to want to do it for yourself and no one else.  You also have to sacrifice many things; however, all the hard work will pay off eventually.