I Am Woman; That Is Enough

By Dianna Shaw

“You can bend, but never break me; and it only serves to make me more determined to achieve my final goal.” During my teenage years vocalist Helen Reddy had the number one song, “I Am Woman,” to which my girlfriends and I proudly sang the lyrics.
At the time I was too naïve to understand the true message of these words, but with time and life’s experience, I have come to make these same words a part of my character on my quest as a woman attempting to have it all.
Being an American woman, I will always feel indebted to such ardent women as Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony, as they would not be satisfied to remain second-class citizens without a voice. The struggle for an equal voice in government traces back as far as the beginning of our Constitution.
 “I desire you would remember the ladies, and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors. We are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by laws in which we have no voice, or representation,” said Abigail Adams to her husband, John Adams, in a letter written March 31, 1776.
It seems inconceivable that it took 144 years for women to win this voice with the passing of the 19th Amendment. Of course, just because women won the right to vote Aug. 26, 1920, it did not mean that we had arrived. In some ways it was only the beginning of the birth pains of a battle that continues to this day.
During World War II, women left their homes to fill the void in the workforce caused by the absence of men.  A new sense of accomplishment filled these women as they explored their abilities. The slogan “Yes We Can” was put on government posters picturing a woman dubbed “Rosie the Riveter.” She had her shirt sleeves rolled up, her fist clinched, making a muscle encouraging women to take factory jobs.  
After the war, these women were told to return home and resume their former lifestyles. The women who continued to work were forced back into traditional jobs with less pay. However, there is no denying the face of the American workforce was changed forever. You cannot force toothpaste back into a tube, and once a human spirit experiences the possibilities of more, it cannot be satisfied with less.
In the 1950s, women were placed back into the role of mother, wife and homemaker. It was considered unfeminine to work outside of the home; a woman was to be feminine above all. Yes, they tried to squeeze us back into the tube.
In her book written in 1963, “The Feminine Mystique,” Betty Friedan referred to “the problem that has no name.” Friedan attempted to explain the nothingness women felt at having no particular identity to call their own but rather being what everyone else expected them to be. Friedan acknowledged that there is a frustration that builds when one is not true to themselves.   
Take a look at old high school yearbooks from the 1950s to the early 1970s; observe the activities for female students. The female students were taught home economics, where they learned to sew, cook and set up households.  Society, at the time, encouraged girls to go to college to catch a man, not an education. It boggles the mind how we ever made it out of that lunacy.
I am a Christian and have been taught traditional Southern Baptist values. As a young girl, I told my pastor that I wanted to be a preacher, and he told me no. He told me I needed to marry a preacher. But I did not want to get married. It made me feel like God could not use me because I was a girl.
In 1966, a television show aired titled “That Girl” starring actress Marlo Thomas as a single girl working in the city. Her character was one of the first role models that led me to believe that I could be something besides a housewife. Then in 1970, “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” began, which helped further the idea of women making a living on their own. As a young girl, these programs fueled my imagination and inspired me to daydream about having a career.
I did not fulfill those dreams, but rather, I gave into tradition and married. Eventually I became a mother of four.  I love being a mother and do not regret my choice to have children. Having said that, there was still an emptiness I felt as a human being. I desired to be more in my life than just a mother or wife, but these desires caused me tremendous guilt. What was wrong with me? Why were my children and husband not enough?
How could I ever justify wanting it all? I asked myself what steps I needed to take in order to exact change in my life. I prayed and I asked God to help me find and fulfill my destiny. Directly after that heart-felt prayer, I was shown how I could finish my education.
That was five years ago, and I am on the verge of completing my coursework. The emptiness that once plagued me is gone. I do not think that the degree itself is the cure, but rather the journey I have taken in getting there. This past year I have buried two former students, an uncle, an aunt and my father. I was out of my home for six weeks due to Ike, and yet, I still overcame.
I cannot wait to take my degree and work for change in America. I am a daughter, wife, mother, grandmother and, soon, I will be a graduate. I do not know if this would be considered having it all, but it is enough.